So many things that I miss that I did not expect to miss

I miss summer.
There is nothing more beautiful than Summer in the North Country.
A real summer with fireflies
And everything being so amazingly green.
Everyone actually out & about, walking on Main Street and talking to each other
Swimming. Real honest to goodness swimming in a lake.
My garden. Weeding every morning with my first cup of coffee.

Summer is the off season here.
Eventually, I will wrap my brain around it, but not this year. I am still in North Country mode and summer will remain my most favorite season of the year.

Mike is in Kansas...which we are both hating...but he is watching stars shooting all over the sky.
For my birthday this year, that is what I want to do to...watch shooting stars.

Thompson Wash? Maybe Zeb's coyote is still there waiting for hand outs.

I am in the Best Place

So...we are settling in.

Our apartment is small, but ridiculously charming. Our neighbors are great. I love that we are so close to Down Town. I can walk and bike everywhere that I need to be. I can feel my cells re-arranging themselves into my perfect self.

And so in my safe place, I am watching the original 'Grey Gardens' documentary.

It reminds me of my crazy teen age hood. These are the kind of people that my mother drew to her, the life that she lived in her mind...one of imagined privilege & superiority...while  I was trying to forge her signature so that we could qualify for the free lunch program and food stamps.

Watching this documentary is making me uncomfortable. I want to go in and clean everything up, make everything right...which is pretty much how I spent my  teens, 20's & 30's...trying to make everything appear to be okay.

But one thing I love about this documentary is how elegantly it is filmed, how beautiful these women are, how fragile they are in their reality...& how bohemian and free they are...

This crazy bohemian spirit is what I remember about my Mom. When she was up, I knew that I was in the presence of greatness & splendor. She could turn a simple daisy into magic.( I still believe that the August meteor showers are specifically for me) If a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken  showed up, we knew that we were in for an adventure.

As my cells realign themselves into my perfect me, I am going to remember where I came from but I am also going to always embrace the special magic that appeared every once in awhile...and I am always going to look for the magic.