the sun came out.
And I stopped and marveled at it.
In a completely WTF kind of way.
Like it was getting in the way of me being mad, and feeling sorry for myself, and really, WTF do I have to see something so amazingly beautiful today? Really. God, Goddess, Budda, Mohammed, WTF?
I don't want to see something nice.
I want to wallow in self pity because I have left everything behind and I am lonely and sad.
And then the Sun Came Out.
That is what it does here. Just like NH. All the colors are there. You know the sun is rising, but when you have mountains and mesas hiding it as it rises, it all of a sudden pops out in full glory and makes you smile whether you want to or not.
At that point, you really do have to smile and say 'Fuck Yeah! Today is going to rock' and get on with it.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
not only my birthday week...
It is also the week that my Mom died.
August 15, 2001
Three weeks before 9/11.
Crazy emotions.
My Step Mother in the Pentagon.
My sister-in-law in the Pentagon
Me going for a run and my sisters yelling at me on my answering machine to pick up the phone...for both situations...
My husband freaking out because we had so much family involved.
Me. Alone.
And all I can think on that day is
'Thank goodness they have my Mom
to welcome them.'
I cannot think of a better welcome to Heaven.
August 15, 2001
Three weeks before 9/11.
Crazy emotions.
My Step Mother in the Pentagon.
My sister-in-law in the Pentagon
Me going for a run and my sisters yelling at me on my answering machine to pick up the phone...for both situations...
My husband freaking out because we had so much family involved.
Me. Alone.
And all I can think on that day is
'Thank goodness they have my Mom
to welcome them.'
I cannot think of a better welcome to Heaven.
So, it was my Birthday
I kind of expected every one in my family to call me and wish me Happy Birthday.
And my sister wished me a happy drunken birthday.
And my sweet Dad called.
There is such a big part of me that wishes my family would understand how much it took to sell everything and move out here.
There is such a big part of me that wishes that my family understood me.
I guess that is not happening any time soon.
And my sister wished me a happy drunken birthday.
And my sweet Dad called.
There is such a big part of me that wishes my family would understand how much it took to sell everything and move out here.
There is such a big part of me that wishes that my family understood me.
I guess that is not happening any time soon.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Crazy Missing My Husband & Wondering Why The F*** I am so Lonely
#1 Missing my husband like crazy.
#2 When he calls me 100 times I want to kill him.
#3 Really
#4 Trying to figure out my loneliness here. I was really good at it in NH.
#5 This is the 1st time that Mike has been as crazy lonely as I am.
#6 I don't know how to handle it
#7 At least I get to ride my bike.
#8 Are we too old to jump into each others arms?
#9 I didn't know that I was so lonely
#10 I didn't know Mike was so lonely
We will figure this all out. That is one thing that I know for sure.
#2 When he calls me 100 times I want to kill him.
#3 Really
#4 Trying to figure out my loneliness here. I was really good at it in NH.
#5 This is the 1st time that Mike has been as crazy lonely as I am.
#6 I don't know how to handle it
#7 At least I get to ride my bike.
#8 Are we too old to jump into each others arms?
#9 I didn't know that I was so lonely
#10 I didn't know Mike was so lonely
We will figure this all out. That is one thing that I know for sure.
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